Love has a tremendous impact on the mental and physical being; it sustains, soothes and protects. Internalized boundaries grow permeable; the emotional, the spiritual and the physical self become visible, reachable and vulnerable. Its absence, on the other hand, can be devastating, profoundly destabilizing. I search to give image to these moments of rawness, of intertwined emotions and tensions, of desire and despair.
States of mental and emotional imbalance, the struggle through the flux of live thrives and influences my research. Personal experience is an essential source to my work nourished by the neurosciences and human issue studies. The lens is often frontal, mirror-like; only in the video series Walking, a woman walks away from the capturing eye, vanishes into vast landscapes. Here, the individual is being surpassed by space and time.
The Loveletters are a poetical and sensual attempt to reach for the absent other. The act of creating these body prints is essential though it stays mysterious. Pressing firmly into the paper or brushing lightly over its surface, reveals the most intimate, the secret female body. This is nonetheless, preceded by the act of colouring, beautifying the labial lips. Searching for the other, reaching out is preceded by exploring the self.
In the silent video Bride, a woman sits still in front of a dark red curtained window while her white lacy dress turns transparent with what might be tears, runs down her neck and hair into the fabric. The face is never visible and she hardly moves, just breathes. She is left bare, vulnerable as the humid, delicate material tears revealing skin. The time of enduring ends as she gets up, swaying softly towards the camera and stops the filming.
Working on my own allows me to create intimate situations, to explore and expose fragility. From early paintings on to recent photographs or monotypes, I have always used my body as model; I am also the sole performer in the videos. Nonetheless, once this level of intimacy has been achieved, I find collaboration with another artist, as in the sound creations for my recent videos, most challenging, adding layers counterbalancing my work.
The absence of the loved one, as in the video Missing You, leads to emotional turmoil; the suffering from solitude arouses feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Extreme longing for the other, for sensuality, connectedness and sharing grows into despair, self-destruction. And still, despite stress and the rawness of many of my pieces, there always lies a search for sensual and poetic beauty.